To subside assortedly

It wasn't me nor it was you.

It was us.

xoxo

S2

Car Wars Stereo- Broken

For all those who have been hurt, still hurting and soon to be hurt. And also those who had gotten away.

"And it gets dark so fast for such a long day
And the room is quiet and starts to fade away
Just the smell of cigarettes
And only one broken glass
And you would never guess"

Still here and hurting

I am still standing here feeling the same way I did 4 months ago only to realize all this is going nowhere. How stupid of me to talk myself into doing such a thing while I hold my head up high telling myself everything will be fine once it's over.

I miss being happy.

Time for tears to roll down my cheeks till this is entirely healed.

Let's close this chapter and never look at it the same way again. It hurts, babe...

What is therapeutic?

Some say writing helps but to what extent? It seems like I can't be bother writing here anymore just look at the frequency of my updates. Who am I kidding right? Of course I don't write anymore. No, it's not that I don't have the time in fact I have all the time in the world but why am I not updating my blog as often as how I used to? Pfft......

I rather do retail therapy. Ah! Every women's dreams.

The only thing is...... when the bills come, what do you do with it?!

Not here nor there

............

xoxo

atmy

Ponder on this- Perception

Read this a week ago on Jo Ann's blog, got me pondering on for a couple of days. Hmm the real world isn't a very nice place to live in after all. Don't we just all want o be a kid again?

Something to think about….

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approximately. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:

The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.

The questions raised:

*In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*Do we stop to appreciate it?

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.

How many other things are we missing?

Sorta productive week

Ok I went back to Penang for a week plus probably because I was bored of 'rotting' in KL while I wait for my uni to start. Plus I also needed to go back and get some of the papers from college certified which I just realized I DID NOT DO THAT argh! All I have is the original and a couple of photocopies of it, urgh I hate it that the uni need certified true copy of all the docs. Blah! Other than that I had the usual 'choo char' dinner with Mum & Dad a couple of time over the week and also Dad's pre-birthday dinner at Canton-i a day before I came back to KL.

So here's a funny/stubborn story of my Dad I would like to share. Usually when we go out for Dim Sum or dinner Mum brings along our own exclusively favourite tea leaves. However, at this 'choo char' place along Weld Quay they do not provide any tea pots because they serve Chinese tea by the glass. So Dad had a special request that maybe they can just give use a pitcher and a couple of cups--as desperate as it may sound--we needed our very own Chinese tea that much meh? Seriously ZOMFG! Here's a picture of 'the set' the lady brought to our table in order for us to make our OWN CHINESE TEA. Oh we also made used of a small plate as the cover of the metal pitcher. *smacks head in disbelief tsk tsk such stubbornness is definitely genetic haha

I've been wanting to get my hair chopped but never had the guts to do so. Coincidentally my Mum had to go the salon and get her complete hair cut-straighten-coloured-treatment procedure. So I told her I'd go with her. Guess what? Being the usual me I overslept and mumbled not wanting to go anymore when she tried to wake me up. I was sleep talking when I answered her. I finally woke up at the crack of dawn looking for her only to find out she was already on her way back from the salon ish ish! No haircut for me but I took this picture just to see how I'd look like if I really did chop my long tresses off.

Haha! The boyfwen was convinced my hair had gone from miles long to a short bob when he saw this picture on my Facebook.

No, I might not really want my hair to be this short but these splits ends have to go! I want my flowy fringe back too =) now it just looks like a blop of hair on the way to turning to a very disastrous center parting hair style.

Post-indescribable state of previous enrty

Now that I'm bouncing back from my almost depressive state of the previous entry, let me tell you what I've been up to in order to keep myself from falling into the black hole.

~Checked out Star Education Fair 2010 at KLCC last weekend

I dived straight into the issue of my worries, hoping that the Education Fair will help me sort it out. I tell you, it was huge! Walking back and forth of the exhibition hall covering over 5-6 halls requires tonnes of footwork or was it coz we decided to walk over to Trader's Hotel to say hello to a friend? Hmm. Anyhoo, I've rounded up list of uni according to the tuition fees rate and also course offered. My thought process was through elimination, since none offers strictly advertising degree only, I eliminated choices I'd never want to touch for eg. journalism, pr, production/broadcasting. But after all this thought, I still find myself leaning my decision towards following the 'crowd' as in I was told a couple of my friends will be enrolling in Taylors soon. Is that why my priority was given to Taylors? Well, following the crowd can't be too bad right? As the saying goes, birds of the same feathers flock together =) and I know very well I'm a person that needs company to be motivated or else I'll just lose interest entirely.

So what now? All I have to do now is discuss it with my parents and see what is their budget like in the education fund prepared, if they have one for me =( I hope they do. And then reconfirm with my friends where they are heading to. Voila! I'm all set to pursue my degree very soon. And of course once huge chunk of worry out of the way!

~Escaped from the 4 walls

I've also got out of the house more often to erm steal a breath of fresh air (by that I mean yea I've been free-loading wi-fi at cafes). Went grocery shopping, walked around the mall and spotted more more more clearance sales. But I did that all in vain coz it was just window shopping with zero sales purchase done. At least, now I have in mind what I should start trying out for my Chinese New Year shopping purchase =)

~Total recharged

Last but the utmost important was I finally caught up on sleep and tried to tune back to proper sleeping time(still failed miserably, now that I'm blogging at this hour). Ah well, all this will only go back to normal once I have scheduled classes. For the meantime, come on eyebags I'm not afraid of you! You too pimples! Bring it on!

On a final note, I'm happy again coz I'm not as broke anymore. Also I love you boyfwen for always knowing when to use the pickmeups especially during downtimes like this.

Grey matter and the party girl in me

I've been sitting here for the past 3 hours rearranging my thoughts and also whether if I should rant put all my jumbled up thoughts in words. Okay just for the record I'm pretty sure whatever I have to say from the next line on it's all because of the hormonal imbalance, yea yea it's that time of the month again.

*Takes a deep breath. Here goes!

Firstly I've been jobless for over a month now ever since I finished my internship over at KLue. So lately I've been extremely unproductively minus that one week family vacay in Northern Thailand and days that I pulled myself out of bed to run errands, oh plus days that I decided to do some retail therapy. Other than that I've been slacking like a good cuppa jello. Yea it's very depressing I know! Actually before I was in this slacking stage, I opted for maybe a job opportunity or something since I won't be starting uni this soon: 2 interviews and 1 job offer. Why didn't I take it? I really have no idea, coz I thought it would be a better idea to laze and slack around before I start my degree? What about a part time job then? Yup, thought about it, but never put my thoughts into action. Maybe I should, right! I'll do that later today alright? So Starbucks? Coffee Bean? Oh Body Shop, I've always wanted to be one of those sarong clad with a neat bun sitting just right on top of my perfectly put together face.

Secondly, I feel I've been abandoning my friends a lot lately. Ok scratch that, I am abandoning them. No and it's not because I have new friends coz I feel the same way with them too. Alright, before this my excuse was, "Oh I have work." But now? What excuses do I have not spending time with them? As of lately I've become a person I'm so disgusted of because I show up at a party late and leave halfway. And yet I have no guilt about it. You know I really really miss them especially my high school friends, I'm feeling so left out when I don't see myself in pictures with them anymore. Who else can I blame? I brought this upon myself =( saying no to random movies, dinner, supper or hangouts sigh. I guess they thought, "Why ask when we all know she's gonna reject us anyways." So what do I do now? I miss home you know. What?! But home is only 4 hours drive away. It's the familiarity that I miss and the convenience of every place being 20minutes away plus the luxury I have at home ah *internetz!

What about friends in KL? Yea I've made a few and they are indeed awesome people and a very cool bunch to hang with. The problem is they absolutely love clubbing. No, I don't have a problem with that in fact the first when we were at Barsonic for Topman X Junk after party was one of the best clubbing experience I've ever had for a very very long time. I reluctantly say 'no' when the usual weekend hangouts includes clubbing because part me thinks I've gotten over that stage but come on a lil partying at the of a long tiring week of work won't kill sigh =(

Shopping in KL? Uh huh it's obviously top notch in comparison to what we have in Penang. I do I do enjoy going shopping and all but I just like to do it alone plus I ain't all that of a regular size. I don't do as much shopping either is because I'm not as spendrift as I was a year back. Other than that why do I need that many clothes when I don't go out?

I bet all this wouldn't happen to the person I was a couple of years back. Have I matured into a woman? Is this what they call growing up? If it is I'm doomed coz this means very limited social life, boring routines, boredom at work or school and tonnes of complains. And I thought 2010 would rock my world....

p/s: The problem with me is probably because I don't do gaming and hah I don't have a hobby.