Grey matter and the party girl in me

I've been sitting here for the past 3 hours rearranging my thoughts and also whether if I should rant put all my jumbled up thoughts in words. Okay just for the record I'm pretty sure whatever I have to say from the next line on it's all because of the hormonal imbalance, yea yea it's that time of the month again.

*Takes a deep breath. Here goes!

Firstly I've been jobless for over a month now ever since I finished my internship over at KLue. So lately I've been extremely unproductively minus that one week family vacay in Northern Thailand and days that I pulled myself out of bed to run errands, oh plus days that I decided to do some retail therapy. Other than that I've been slacking like a good cuppa jello. Yea it's very depressing I know! Actually before I was in this slacking stage, I opted for maybe a job opportunity or something since I won't be starting uni this soon: 2 interviews and 1 job offer. Why didn't I take it? I really have no idea, coz I thought it would be a better idea to laze and slack around before I start my degree? What about a part time job then? Yup, thought about it, but never put my thoughts into action. Maybe I should, right! I'll do that later today alright? So Starbucks? Coffee Bean? Oh Body Shop, I've always wanted to be one of those sarong clad with a neat bun sitting just right on top of my perfectly put together face.

Secondly, I feel I've been abandoning my friends a lot lately. Ok scratch that, I am abandoning them. No and it's not because I have new friends coz I feel the same way with them too. Alright, before this my excuse was, "Oh I have work." But now? What excuses do I have not spending time with them? As of lately I've become a person I'm so disgusted of because I show up at a party late and leave halfway. And yet I have no guilt about it. You know I really really miss them especially my high school friends, I'm feeling so left out when I don't see myself in pictures with them anymore. Who else can I blame? I brought this upon myself =( saying no to random movies, dinner, supper or hangouts sigh. I guess they thought, "Why ask when we all know she's gonna reject us anyways." So what do I do now? I miss home you know. What?! But home is only 4 hours drive away. It's the familiarity that I miss and the convenience of every place being 20minutes away plus the luxury I have at home ah *internetz!

What about friends in KL? Yea I've made a few and they are indeed awesome people and a very cool bunch to hang with. The problem is they absolutely love clubbing. No, I don't have a problem with that in fact the first when we were at Barsonic for Topman X Junk after party was one of the best clubbing experience I've ever had for a very very long time. I reluctantly say 'no' when the usual weekend hangouts includes clubbing because part me thinks I've gotten over that stage but come on a lil partying at the of a long tiring week of work won't kill sigh =(

Shopping in KL? Uh huh it's obviously top notch in comparison to what we have in Penang. I do I do enjoy going shopping and all but I just like to do it alone plus I ain't all that of a regular size. I don't do as much shopping either is because I'm not as spendrift as I was a year back. Other than that why do I need that many clothes when I don't go out?

I bet all this wouldn't happen to the person I was a couple of years back. Have I matured into a woman? Is this what they call growing up? If it is I'm doomed coz this means very limited social life, boring routines, boredom at work or school and tonnes of complains. And I thought 2010 would rock my world....

p/s: The problem with me is probably because I don't do gaming and hah I don't have a hobby.